Life As I See It

Another Insightful Post....

2005-10-15T12:11:46Z

Ok, so a lot of the posts lately are about ppl finding themselves and exposing certain things about themselves. WEll, here goes nothing.... I am currently pursuing a relationship, as most of you know. What you may not know is that I really believe I'm in love. Now I'm not the sort of person who says that all the time. I told one bf I loved him, but then told him after I didn't mean it. I actually mean it now "Gasp!!". I don't know what this really means, or what to do. I'm just going to see how it goes.
I haven't been as pleasant lately as I should be. I don't like being unpleasant, so I'm going to work harder on that, I promise. I think it was just PMS lol!!! Because I'm happier now than I have been in a long time. I'm just going to let things go and start anew.
BTW, I just wanted to say that I have never had such a great group of friends as you guys. I have dealt with a lot of shit in the pass while and, wether you know it or not, all of you helped me through in your own way. Whether it was matty's girlish laugh (hehehe), Julia's Julianisms, Jonny's insightful repies to many posts, Stephen's love to break it down lol!!, all of you have touched me and I think I'm better because of it.

Stupid!!

2005-09-21T16:05:43Z

So I have come to realize that I am by far one of the stupidest people I know. I have been trying to escape from some decisions I have made, yet I end up making worse ones. To err is human, but what if you constantly err and learn nothig? Or maybe learn something but then allow yourself to fall back in old ways. Thinking before acting has never been a strength of mine (because I feel it takes strength to do so) and I give into temptaions easily. I very rarely consider consequences. This has lead me to down one horrible road after another, some of these roads which I am still walking.
Recent entries have spoke of change. Can people change? Should people change? I believe we can all change if we set our minds to it. Funny, it seems the only time change is hard is when it's for the better. Me, I thought I had changed. I had hoped I had changed. Now, however, I realize I am the same lost child I have always been, without the goodness I was once so proud of. Forgive me. I have failed to be the person I should be to you all.

P.S. This is NOT a suicide note or anything although it is very depressing.

Craziness

2005-09-05T07:23:09Z

Ok so my first night in town was awesome. I had a great time at Curious, the Zone and liquid. I met up with all my old friends and bar buddies and even made some new friends (wink,wink). Anyhow, tonight, Sunday night, was insane. I unpacked some of my stuff today and made a Wal-Mart trip. I napped from 6:00pm to 10:00pm since I had been up all the night before partying. Matty and JUlia were getting ready to head to the zone for karaeoke night. I figured it would be fun so I got ready and left with them. The night was a blast. Cory joined us and I met Jonathon and Daryl, whom I think is a very cool guy. Anyway I got blissfully drunk and did some bad karaeoke. After that, Cory,Daryl,Rickey and I went to the waterfront so Cory could see the ocean. There we found a woman, Francis, who said she was going to jump in the harbour and kill herself. I was way too drunk to deal, but nontheless, Daryl,Cory and I sat and tried talking to her. We were talking for a long time when Cory left to call the police. They finally showed up after we had been talking with her for like 40 mins. They finally talked her off the edge of the wharf and brought her to safety. It was insane. Like I realize that if she was really going to kill herself, she probably would have done it by then, but still, to be that desperate that you feel there's no way out. I find it scary because I know I've been there a few times, as have we all I'm sure. What it really makes you realize is how petty certain things are. LIke getting in fights with a bf or gf or a good friend. YOu think that's so major and your life is beyond repair. But when you're faced with something like what we were tonight, you can really appreciate how beautiful life is and it's too short to be wasted on such petty, childish things. So this is some advice from a young fool: Appreciate what you have and be nice and caring. Don't let small things get in the way of you and the people you love. It's a bright, big, beautiful world out there. DOn't waste it being childish and selfish. I'm not trying to lecture anyone and I certainly know that I should be taking my own advice. I just want everyone to be as happy as they possibly can be. I love you all and you all mean a lot to me. Anyway I'm going to stop ranting now and try to go to bed. *Muah!!

Chantielle

P.S. Cory and DAryl are two right on dudes. You should dsefinately make an effort to meet them.

chantielleylace @ 2005-05-20T15:33:00

2005-05-20T18:04:59Z

Hey. As many of you now know, I'm working at Mary Brown's(therefore, Jacob, I do have the best legs in town!). I accepted this job so I could escape deportation to Rocky Hr., which I don't overly like. Many of you know that as well. However I think I'll actually be going home after all. This is for me, not for any other reason. I really need to rediscover some things about myself that has gotten lost along the way. I don't expect everybody to understand to this, but it's what I need. Anyway gotta go. Bye.

"It's not the way that I want it
It's just the way that I need it"

Stupid College Quiz

2005-05-19T00:23:01Z

Your College Life by highfivejunkie

Username

What will you study?

Your Roomate

systemofadowner

The Football Player

miqhael

The Cheerleader

meckare

The Band Geek

christopherstar

Highly involved in their Frat/Sorority

markymark14

The Crazy Drunk

bluemarbleeyes

The College Slut

dressingthebird

Your Significant Other

shortestangel

The Creep that sneaks into girl's showers

mochachinoslut

Likeliness you'll graduate: 77%

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Mikey's party weekend

2005-05-08T14:42:00Z

OK so this weekend was Mike Granville's party weekend. I could only stay at his party for like an hour because I had to work at Peddlers at 11. Del showed up there with some of his military friends. I was soooo happy to see him. Then after Peddlers I stopped in at the zone to round everyone up to go to liquid.
Liquid was good. I ended up going to Amanda's for a while after Liquid and then went to Julia's where I am now. Not much to say. I had a great time. Happy B-day again Mikey. Love you all.

Stupid Quiz Thingies

2005-04-26T02:31:40Z

I took some of those quizes and the resCHANTIELLE
C is for Cynical
H is for Honorable
A is for Adaptable
N is for Normal
T is for Twisted
I is for Influential
E is for Energetic
L is for Likeable
L is for Liberal
E is for Explosive
I don't know if this describes me well, but there it is.

You Are A Romantic Realist

You are more romantic than 30% of the population.

You tend to be grounded when it comes to romance.
Sure, you can fall hard... but only for someone you've gotten to know.
And once you're in love, you can be a total romantic goofball...
But you'd never admit it to your friends!

You May Be a Bit Schizotypal ...

A bit odd and socially isolated.
You couldn't care less of what others think.
And some of your beliefs are a little weird.
Like that time you thought you were Jesus.

Ok so those are my quiz results. I didn't know how to make them appear on here so I just copied and pasted.
Moving on: The weekend was somewhat disappointing overall. I'm sure by now everyone knows at least some of the going ons this past Saturday. I just sk that no one judge me on being a bit upset over it just because I'm sure none of you, with the exception of a few, know what happened really and none of you know why I am more upset than most about it. I don't relly want to get into all the details because they're not all worked out yet. I just mentioned it because I don't want you to think I'm acting immature or irrational. Anyway, that said, the rest of the weekend was ok. I went to Todd's party Sat night, then to the zone, then to Junctions, which wasn't half bad except I was completely sober by that time. Had a great time with Matt Hawco. I also had a good time with Matt H, Matty, Julia,Tyrel and Ashley the next night. So I guess the weekend wasn't too bad. it definately wasn't the weekend I had anticipated or hoped for. Anyway gotta go.

Mark's Birthday Weekend

2005-04-16T12:33:38Z

Well, as I'm sure everyone is aware, It's Mark's Birthday Weekend. Happy 21st. At the moment it is exactly 9:00 am, Saturday morning. We just got home about 20mins. ago. I hadn't planned on going out on Friday, but when I was at the mall making arrangements for Mark's party, Julia asked if I wanted to go down to the zone with her tonight for a bit because Josh was DJing. I said sure, thiking I wouldn't drink. Marky was invited along as well. So we went down to Julia's where we drank a bit and got in a total party mood. We went to the zone. Mark and I went down together because Julia and Johnny got tired of waiting for Mark and I to get off the phone with Ashley. We are actually half cut by the time we get down to the zone. We met up with Rickey, Michael G and Del down at the zone. I also go to meet Mike Hickey. We were having such a great time at the zone that we decided to go to liquid. It was pretty fun. We met up with Rickey and Mike again there, because they left before us. Del came later. Rickey was dancing with one of my friends from Corner Brook. I was so happy to see her and some of the other Corner Brook people again. I hadn't seen them for a while so it was nice to party with them again. They had the worst influence on me. The first time I smoked weed, went on the ekkie, and got with a girl was all around these people. They're great! So I'm writing this cracked out at Mark's at 9:08 in the morning. Many of you will receive strange messages from me just because Mark's tired and I'm still pumped. So ok, we met up with a really nice girl named Nancy and her boyfriend Mike and invited her to Mark's party tomorrow. I hope they come cuz they were great. So after liquid closed (The last song was NIRVANA!!!!!) we went with my friend Sarah, the one who was dancing with Rickey, to our friend Chrissy's house. Chrissy wasn't there, but Heather, John and Grant were there. i realize the names mean nothing to probably all of you but I'ld still like for you to know who they were. We chilled there for a bit, just listening to music and reminising about past parties and future parties (Friday,WOOT!). It was nice to catch up. They're still as crazy as I remember but I'm more crazy in some ways then they remember. In some other ways though I 've calmed down so much. We got John and Grant to drop us off at Mark's because he lives close by. And now Mark is in bed and I'm at his computer typing this, along with the cracked out messages.We were just talking to Rickey and Michael. They're supposed to be grabbing Route7 and come hang out here. I don't think they are coming since their bus was at the village at 8:25 and it's now 9:17. I still want to party. i'm listening to Martin Solveig's Rockin Music and I just want to dance around Mark's room. I probably won't get much sleep today and tonight is going to be one crazy night. I have to attend Mark's supper, then go to Mike Reid's birthday because I told him a long time ago I wouold. Then it's back to Mark's for another night of downtown and killing brain cells by the thousands. WOOT!!! Mark is cutting my hair today. Most of you will probably get to see it before you read this. These are my precut thoughts: I have trust in Mark's ability to cut hair even though he's never had formal traing. I have Faith in Mark's ability to distinguish between a bad hair cut and a really funky one. I'm not nervous at all and I'm looking forward to it. And if on the off chance that it turns out horably wrong I will either:1.) wear lots of hats, which I love anyway. or 2.)Shave all my hair off, which I've always kind of wanted to do at least once in my life. Mike told me last night if I cut my hair I can't be a gypsy anymore. This is disappointing but it's a sacrafise I regretably have to make. At least now I'll get to keep my front teeth. lol. Tonight should be so awesome with everyonre dressed up really nice. It'll be fun to go downtown dressed up. I met Del for the first time tonight. I love that guy. he is soo funny and sweet and beautiful. Love's ya. We were making up weird dance moves at liquid. It was so much fun. It was so unexpected but good. Michael, you still have to remove your front teeth because you nearly took a chunk out of my cheek. You bit me really hard on the face! Twice! Why are there so many creepy, leering guys at Liquid? I know probably because they're all out of it on drugs, but they are really creepy. This is such a long entry because I am so awake. I can't go to bed and I want to do something. I should study for my finals, which are going pretty good, but I don't have any books here. I do have red shoes here though. I bought them at Value Village today. That won't help me with finals but I have cute red high heel shoes. "Get your cha cha heels on". I'm listening to that song and wanting to dance around Mark's house. Maybe I'll just go and eat the leftover cake from when Matt,Mark and I were pigging out earlier. I ate half a Mcain deep and delicious cake. Not even the little cakes, it was a full size one. But of course I eat like a horse anyway. I should seriously be like 500 lbs. I stayed at Matt Hawco's last night, as in Thursday night(my days are all screwed up when I don't sleep). It was a really great time. We had a "session" then got the munchies real bad. i ate a full box of Swiss Cake Rolls. They're so good, but there's two rolls per package, and there were 12 packages so that's 24 swiss cake rolls. Plus I ate a big bag of Mini Crisps. It was so good though. I just read over this entry and realized that it is very not connected. It doesn't flow smoothly from one topic to another. Oh well, it's probably too long to read all of it. I wouldn't read it all, my life's not that exciting. I also noticed how positive I sound. Everything was fun, and great , and awesome. I'm just in a very pleasant mood. I would just like to point out that the party all you lovely people will be attending wasmost largely organized by Julia and Matty. You guys did an awesome job at planning Mark's b-day. It would not have gone ahead without you guys. Anyway, Patrick Fleming has saved you all from me writing down every single thought in my head. I'm talking to him online now so I'll stop writing in this. See you all tonight. Have a good one. Don't get too messedup tonight. For some of you who don't read this for like a week, I hope you didn't get too messed up. Bye now that I've bored you to tears. Love you all.

Third F***ing Attempt

2005-04-12T01:08:30Z

This is my third attempt to write this damned entry because I somhow manage to delete everything. I had a huge entry wrote out and I managed to erase it all so if this doesn't work I'm saying screw this. I'm not writing anything else. This is my first entry redone for the third time.